Dead man in mortuary impregnates woman
November 11, 2010 by Dead Serious News
Dead Man in Casket With Contented Expression
The Rolling Stones said it best, “You, you make a dead man cum.” A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients-a dead man. The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.
According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded to have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the corpse had an orgasm after several minutes. Reasoning that if the man was dead so were his sperm Marmaduke douched, took a shower and forgot about it.
A few weeks later, during a routine medical exam Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test. Upon telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary.
In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support.
Marmaduke's attorney said he was looking into the possibility of the fetus inheriting from his father, the corpse.
I just gotta call bullshit on that. How many ways is this wrong? Let me count the ways - no, that'll take too long. It's just wrong wrong wrong wrong. No frickin' way.
ReplyDeleteYou made a good call anonymous. See subsequent post dated 1-19-11 pointing out that this alleged event did not take place.
ReplyDelete