Friday, February 11, 2011

Yakima Yokels Convict Coffee Shop Owner

Late breaking news in Yakima bizarre bare barista case

Yak, yak, yak, yakity yak......don't come back

Befuddled jurors violate defendant's 1st Amendment rights, with complicity of judge in Yakima, Washington constitutional conundrum.

Feb. 11, 2011

A municipal court jury, confused by a grand-standing local prosecutor and a clueless municipal judge convicted the owner of the DreamGirls coffee bar of violating a local ordinance because her employees showed a little too much bare skin in their working girls uniforms.

Sporting see through bikinis found on every public beach from Southern California to Omaha, Nebraska, the classy lassies were deemed too risque for the warped morals of the Eastern Washington state population. Facing a possible 3 months in prison, the coffee shop owner indicated she would appeal her conviction. The barista employee, who caused all the uproar, was acquitted of all charges because the dumb prosecutor forgot to arrest her and seize the offending garments for use as evidence at trial. The D.A. had to ask the barista to bring her own evidence to be used against her to the trial, which she surprisingly did. But the judge held the see through panties inadmissable because there was no chain of custody and hence no way to prove the skimpy, see through drawers were those actually worn by the barista at the time she was arrested.

Meanwhile, get your morning jolt of java in San Francisco, see above, where cooler heads and fewer clothes are the norm.

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