New York Man Ships Self to Texas in a Crate

The things people will do to try to get to Texas!


SEPTEMBER 9--A 24 year-old nitwit named Charles McKinley is facing federal charges for shipping himself in a wooden crate from New York to his parents' home in DeSoto, Texas. With the assistance of a co-worker, the Bronx man got himself inside a cargo crate that was eventually loaded onto a Boeing 727 at Newark International Airport. After several stops in other cities, and a transfer to another jet, the wooden crate was picked up by Pilot Air Freight, a ground shipping company, and delivered to the DeSoto home of McKinley's parents. The deliveryman, Billy Ray Thomas "noticed a pair of eyes between the slats of the crate," according to a DeSoto Police Department report. Thomas called the cops and reported what he thought was a dead body in the crate, "until the slats were kicked open and a live person emerged from the crate."

After exiting, McKinely shook the deliveryman's hand and offered his thanks. The delivery guy was unimpressed and insisted on summoning the cops, who busted McKinley for some outstanding warrants. McKinley, who works at a Bronx warehouse, was apparently aided by a coworker who sealed him inside the crate. The manifest for the crate claimed it contained computer equipment and clothing weighing 350 pounds. FBI and Transportation Security Administration agents are now probing McKinley's escapade. One agent, who refused to divulge his identity, said it would be a freezing day in hell before McKinley got out of a federal penitentiary.

In a late breaking report, federal authorities said McKinley would be charged with "something or other." "We can't have some kooks or even terrorists, evading airport security by traveling via air freight," according to a man who claimed to be a high ranking official with TSA but refused to give reporters his name, claiming anonymity under the state secrets act.

McKinley told reporters that "them damn air fares are too high. The airlines are ripping people off. I just wanted to see my momma and daddy." His parents probably will have to visit him in jail, maybe at Leavenworth.