An Ohio man who went out onto his patio and had sex with his metal patio table multiple times between January and March was sentenced to six months in jail.
Long term BizarreStuff readers no doubt will recall the Ohio father of 3 who was videotaped by a neighbor having sex on his patio with a patio table. (Query? Why was the neighbor so interested in this and why did he need to videotape it 3 times?)
Art Price Jr, pictured above, admitted to this bizarre feat. A tipster dropped off three DVD's showing Art doing his thing. And according to cops, Art also admitted to having intercourse with the table inside the home, violating the sanctity of the home.
In fact, if the married father of three had not decided to take his erotic adventures outside of the house, which happens to be in plain view of an elementary school, chances are that he could've continued the affair with his flat-chested friend indefinitely, or until his wife caught on. Ditched for a metal table? We don't think wifey will be happy to learn this news.
The significance of the time of year in Ohio when dad was stupping his patio table is important to those familiar with getting their tongues stuck to a metal pole in freezing temperatures.
Instead, thanks to the mysterious Deep Throat of the lawn furniture world, and the tireless work of the police, Art is off to prison. But is prison where Art belongs? Will prison rid him of his sexual fetish or just get him punked in the butt by about 50 convicts?
If you are having an affair with your table, and you go out to dinner, does your table get jealous because you are seeing other tables?
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