Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dead Man Walking - Well....Sorta

Corpse Attends Colombian Soccer Match

March 30, 2011

A 17 year-old avid soccer fan and player, Christopher Jerome, who was gunned down by street thugs in a non soccer related murder, was taken from his wake on the shoulders of comrades to his last soccer match in the sky, inside his coffin.

Authorities said 200 -300 friends, family and hangers-on of the dead man overwhelmed gate attendants in order to bring the coffin inside the stadium. "It was a near riot," said one synonymous observer, who asked to be identified as someone else, "I'm surprised they didn't try to mount Christopher's coffin on the goal posts, or even attempt a corner kick with his cadaver."

There was no indication whether or not the display was Jerome's wish or the act of some demented friends and relatives. There also was no indication that Jerome watched or cheered his live colleagues on the field during their 3-1 loss. Jerome lay quietly throughout the match.

Someone had placed a very large bag of peanuts on top of Jerome's coffin. He was known for munching on peanuts during time outs and this was the ultimate time out.

The operator of the funeral home responsible for Jerome's burial said the fans needed to bring Jerome's body back soon before it could deteriorate further and begin to smell. The funeral director said her establishment couldn't be responsible for any diseases contracted as a result of handling the body and warned fans that necrophilia is a crime in Colombia.

No comments:

Post a Comment