David Schubert, 47, prosecutor and drug abuser
David Schubert, the "Mr. Straight" prosecutor of drug felons, including Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars, was himself arrested in Las Vegas whilst making a street buy of cocaine for his own use.
"Hypocrite" Schubert, who has made a name and career for himself as the overzealous prosecutor of the users of illegal drugs was nailed attempting to make a drug buy on the street. According to his 'dealer,' Schubert usually made 3-4 buys weekly of $30-40 worth of cocaine.
The D.A. is depicted here in his hypocrisy suit and also dressed as a common street criminal during booking by police. Schubert inhabits the phony clothing of a 'bidnessman' whilst convicting celebrities and others of violating victimless crimes.
Mr. Schubert once boasted of having seen more inches of celebrity cleavage than George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Hugh Hefner combined. He frequently could be seen in court approaching the defense table and peering intently at the female celebrities' breasts. Ms. Hilton, who was aware of Mr. Schubert's propensities, made all her court appearances wearing clothing that maximized the exposure of her breasts, as in the accompanying photo. Prosecutor Schubert can be seen in the accompanying photos eyeing Ms. Hilton's breasts.
The bigoted D.A., who recommends lengthy prison terms for those he prosecutes, was mum on sentencing guide lines for himself. He did urge that he not be charged with a crime because he allegedly was conducting 'field research' to assemble a common 'profile' that would enable police officers to conduct a full body, deep cavity search of anyone they stopped who fits the profile of a 'druggie.' The suspects' Miranda rights would be waived automatically when stopped for fitting the profile. According to Schubert, Los Angeles County could save $200 to $300 annually in officer time wasted reading guilty suspects their rights. Most suspects don't even listen to their rights and wouldn't understand them if they did according to Mr. Schubert.
In a quick poll conducted by a Burbank H.S. band teacher, that has a plus or minus margin of error of 98%, 95% of respondents favored throwing Mr. Schubert under the bus, to be followed by a life sentence in a Syrian prison if he survives. Some of the zealous prosecutor's actual victims believe that sentence would be too lenient but would accept it if accompanied by continuous water boarding.
It was not believed Mr. Schubert would enter into any such plea agreement, however. Additionally, a plea bargain that involves a lifetime of torture probably would not be approved by a U.S. court as against public policy, unless it was applied to a suspected terrorist or U.S. military personnel who leak information about the U.S. use of torture, permanent maiming, and murder in the war or terror, such as that being used to break and destroy Bradley Manning, a former U.S. Army private, who is being held in maximum security in Florence, Colo. whilst being tortured 24/7 until he breaks down completely and no longer represents a threat to lying U.S. military officials. President Obama has accepted the military's assurances that Mr. Manning is being treated humanely
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