Monday, December 15, 2008

Amazing Reenactment of California Killings

Palm Springs, 12/15/08

In an amazing repetition of dual murders at a local Toys R Us, two California men shot and killed each other today in a dispute over a toy gun. On November 25th, two California men, fathers of today's dead men, got into a gun fight over the purchase of a toy gun for their young sons, brothers of today's dead men, which led to the deaths of both men.

Today, the older sons of both men came to the same Toys 'R Us store in Palm Springs to buy the one remaining toy gun for their little brothers. The older siblings also got into a quarrel over who would get to buy the toy gun their fathers fought and died for. Following a brief scuffle, both men pulled their own guns and began shooting at each other. One man was dead at the scene. The other died on the way to the hospital. Both have been charged with murder.

The manager of the store, Edgar Martinez, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said he had never seen such carnage resulting from an attempt to buy a toy gun. "People are just crazy these days," said Martinez, "they will do anything to get some insignicant piece of junk. Last month we had two elderly ladies who fought over who was going to get to purchase the last ball of red yarn. They ended up stabbing each other with knitting needles and one of them lost vision in one eye as a result." Martinez added that he willingly would have given both ladies all the yarn they wanted if he had any idea they were going to stab each other with knitting needles. "Now we have four men dead over one toy pistol. I'm going to take it off the shelf before someone else is killed," said Martinez.


  1. Our he could just get more toy guns. If he can't find them, real guns could work as a substitution. What do they teach these managers in school?

    (Yes, I made a comment. I felt that someone should)

  2. This is a great idea. If they displayed real guns no one would need to take their own gun into the store. If only one of the real guns was unsold, whoever got to it first could use it to kill the other, unarmed customer, and the murder rate instantly would be reduced and Palm Springs could apply to be chosen as an "All-American City."

    As matters now stand, the store manager has four dead men to his credit and still hasn't sold the toy gun. He needs to focus more on the bottom line.