Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Midnight Rambler III

As 2008 closes in for the final kill,(an estimated 2.5 million Americans cashed in their chips during 2008)and BizarreStuff completes its first quarter of bringing you all the bizarre news items we can scrounge up, including Onion rejects and even some stories the National Enquirer wouldn't touch, we are gratified by the knowledge that there are no more people named Bush on the political horizon of the U.S. Even Jeb Bush, the itinerant governor of Florida, has acknowledged that he is "just too dumb and too lazy" to run for President. "Just gettin' my dumb-ass brother in ahead of that limelight-hogging Al Gore, with the Supremes, nearly killed me. And have you seen Cruella de Ville recently? She makes the Wicked Witch of the East look like a Playboy centerfold."

In a recent interview, the soon to be ex-President, acknowledged that "that damned half-dead Terry Schiavo, who refused to speak up" had done more to tarnish his Presidency than 9/11, Mission Accomplished, those pesky, hidden WMDs, Clear Skies, Katrina and Social Security Reform combined. "Hell, I probably could have declared myself Emperor for Life if it hadn't been for her and her damned whining parents."

Well, speaking for myself and for all the people who make BizarreStuff as bizarre as it has to be, Merry New Year to all and to all a good flight. See ya in 2009.

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