City of Water Underwater!

12/2/08 The Vatican Press

In a bizarre turn of events, the City of Venice, Italy, admired as the Water City of the world, is now itself underwater. Italian officials planned to meet tomorrow to determine if Venice should be considered two cities, one of water, the other underwater, for purposes of determining the population (is it now double its former size?) and for providing water lines for underwater urban users. "Can't wait until he's gone and soon to be Ex-President of the U.S. George "Dubya" Bush" was being offered on loan to the Italian government as an adviser because of his extensive experience with urban flooding. The "Can't wait until he's gone and soon to be Ex-President of the U.S." said to reporters gathered at Kennebunkport, Maine, "The damned Italians have been warned for centuries to sink that &#@$ing city and be done with it." Vowing to correct the problem, the "How long till he leaves and good riddance Ex-President" urged all civic-minded Venetians to drown quietly. A spokesomething for the Vatican said it welcomed the advice but committing suicide was not permitted under canon law. The "He's already gone, and I'm singing this song Ex President" responded by suggesting that the big hat guy use the canon in that case.