Saturday, December 20, 2008

"I lost my heart in San Fran....a carwash?

PAW PAW, Mich.(AP) Pathologists who examined a heart found this week at a southwestern Michigan car wash still haven't determined whether it came from a human or an animal. They plan to submit the organ for DNA testing in an effort to find out once and for all. The owner of Soapy's Car Wash in Paw Paw discovered the heart Monday on the floor of a manual car wash bay.

In a photograph released by the police (see inset above) it did not appear very difficult to determine what kind of heart it is. It is clearly labeled and came from an English speaking person named Adam.

A police spokesperson, Betty Braveheart, told reporters that the police already had received 10-12 calls from individuals asking for a description of the heart because they had recently lost their own hearts. Police decided to release a photo of the heart to assist anyone who might know the heart's owner or have knowledge of how and why the heart was left in a carwash. "It's a little spooky when you think about it," said Braveheart, who acknowledged having lost her own heart several years ago, to an underage Mexican scuba diving instructor. "He was gorgeous," said Braveheart, "and we made mad, passionate love, on the beach, in a hammock, in a pink jeep, in a church, in a booth in a bar, and on the steps of city hall, but my heart never physically left my body."

Local doctors said the lost heart is about the size of a human heart, but they couldn't tell for sure whether it actually came from a person.

Paw Paw Police Chief Patrick Alspaugh told the Kalamazoo Gazette more may be known about the heart within a week or two from the pathologists at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing. "If we've got someone running around Paw Paw without a heart, we'd like to get their heart back to them as quickly as possible," said the chief.


  1. I came across your inane and puerile comments at the Other McCain and just wanted to note what a complete and utter coward & scumbag you are...

    Typical left wing, goose stepping member of Obama Nation!!!

    Your time will come in 2013 when we restore decency and honor to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and expose the enemies of the Republic, such as you!!!

  2. Gee, Carlos, that's certainly not a good way to win friends and influence people. I wonder why so many people of Latino extraction are such bigoted, hate-filled fools and Repubnicans. Do you really believe McCain or Sarah the Alaskan airhead give a flying fuck about you or any of your relatives? You and your family, in their value system are the lower class, wetbacks, bean eaters and lazy slugs. McCain still refers to you as "greasers," in between calling his wife a cunt. Nice guy, if you want a goon for President.

    Sarah, the family values queen, demonstrated what a great mom she is by having a knocked up daughter and a prospective son-in-law and his mom who are drug users and dealers. Family values, you know, compassionate conservatives and all that rot.

    McCain wouldn't piss on your grave but you wouldn't notice, Carlos, because you would be too busy kissing his ass. Grow some balls, Carlos, stand up for the Latinos in this country instead of supporting people who will deport them or exploit them and call themselves honorable people.

    And I don't have to be exposed, Carlos. I expose my own values and I support you and your brothers and sisters, because it's the right thing to do, not because you set a good example. You don't.