Monday, December 29, 2008

No littering or loitering; keep the savannah pristine.

Click on Photo to Enlarge
AP: 12/28/08
Khartoum, Sudan

An unidentified Alaskan woman was warned to flee just in time when a companion noticed a lioness stalking her. The woman had been warned not to dismount the safari Land Rover in which she was being transported but stated, “I’ve gotta go, big time, and I’m familiar with the wilderness and wild game. When you’ve seen one bush you’ve seen ‘em all.”

The woman, reportedly from Wasilla and Anchorage, AK, was said to have extensive experience in the Alaskan wilderness but was primarily trained to shoot wolves from a helicopter with high-powered rifles. This was her first visit to Africa.

The woman had been warned by authorities that going into the African bush was not the same as shooting wolves or moose in Alaska. The big cats, especially, are extremely dangerous, and are attracted by the scent of human dung.

The woman, who refused to give her name, also declined the photographer’s offer to be photographed in a less compromising position for this story, explaining that she had left all her cosmetics in Alaska and hadn’t even brought any bright red lip gloss. "Im not going to have my ass photographed without it being made up first and I don't see any beauty salons around here," the woman commented.

Amidst all the confusion, a local game warden managed to sneak up behind the woman and strategically place a citation on her rump,for unlawfully defecating in the savannah, a class C misdemeanor, usually carrying a fine of 20 Krugerand. There was a public loo about 20 Km ahead.

Enzio Ponzi contributed to this story from Milan, Italy but no one knows why or what he was contributing since he remained in Milan during the entire time the story took place.

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