Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Topless Cafe Serves Fresh Mother's Milk in Coffee

Topless cafe in Maine hailed as an economic boost to the community, others not so sure.

Published - Feb 24 2009 07:33PM CST

Cup size has more than one meaning at a new central Maine coffeehouse. Servers are topless at the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop, which opened its doors Monday on a busy road in Vassalboro. A sign outside says, "Over 18 only." Another says, "No cameras, no touching, unlimited ogling, cash only." Inside, a third sign says: "Absolutely no self-service."

On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women and couples have stopped by. "I took this job because I have a new baby who can't digest breast milk. I hated doing all that pumping so this has been a blessing for me. I get paid to do the pumping, now. To insure freshness we pump right at the table, so the customer can see for him or herself that it is fresh mother's milk."

One of the men drinking coffee volunteered, "This is the best cup of coffee I've had in years. That titty milk really has a lot of flavor and is low fat. And looking at the container while it's being served ain't bad either," he added with a chuckle.

The coffee shop raised the ire of dozens of uptight, crotchety residents when it went before the town planning board last month. Town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law and would bring in much needed additional sales tax revenue. "We probably can raise enough money in two years off of these women's boobs to repave Main Street," added a board member.

The Board voted 5 to 2 to visit the cafe for a personal inspection, to assuage any concerns anyone might have about obscenity or lewdness. The two Board members voting against the cafe, Imogene Hitchcock and the Rev. Cecil Bigblow, declined to join the other members of the Board on its visit to the cafe.

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