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One of the largest and most troubling aspects of the global economic crisis is the dramatic decline in sex. Businessmen and women, athletes, athletic supporters and many others are being forced to cut back on their sex lives. Gone are the days of conducting sales rep meetings when the entertainment included a good roll in the hay or a blowjob from an experienced pro. Gone are morning after pill dispensers in corporate coffee rooms across America, excluding Babies 'R Us. Women and men across the social spectrum are reporting that they just are not "doing it" as much as they did before the hard economic times hit.
Aside from its impact on the birthrate, which won't be known for at lease another 12 to 18 months, prophylactic sales are at all-time lows, with the revered Trojan brand rubbers on the brink of bankruptcy and venerable household names like Tampax, Kotex and KY jelly reporting major layoffs and profit losses. "It used to be when you got home from a tough day at the docks or a brutal bruising taken by your client at her deposition by the attorney for the trucking company, who got her to admit that conjugal visits already were non existent before her husband was killed; you and your sweety would waltze into the bedroom for a quicky before dinner or at least a short blowjob and clitoris lick in the bathroom before the roast burned.
So it comes as no surprise to learn that one of most world-famous and venerable sex emporiums in the Western World, the Red Light District of Amsterdam, has been hit hard smack in the gonads. The city that became famous for window displays of two pronged dildos, Chinese, silk knotted ropes and well-endowed young secretaries sunning themwselves naked in the parks, is buttoning its pants and pulling up its thongs as sex takes a nose dive, and not where it used to go.
News Item: June 8, 2009 International STD Day
Amsterdam's Red Light District in the Red
The global recession has hit hard in most financial sectors, including sex work. Amsterdam's world-famous Red Light District, where sex workers offer themselves in red-lit storefront windows, is experiencing a dramatic drop in business. Tourists and businessmen have become scarce in the once bustling enclave. Dave Doeve, an associate at the sex shop Casa Rosso, says, "It's bad. There's practically no one around, and those that do come only to buy trifles, condoms, and other cheap things. The 10 party orgies that used to be paid for by some dude who had just marketed $4billion of worthless derivatives are a thing of the past." Two sex workers who share a storefront window, Oxana and Eva the Estonian, say that their revenue has dropped by 50% in the past six months. Oxana points out that their rent was increased by 25% this past January. "We can barely screw enough to pay the rent. Some days there's nobody," she says. A 'good day' will bring her perhaps six clients, but more often than not, she'll have only one client. At 50 euros ($70) per session, one client doesn't even come close to paying the 150 euro ($212) daily rent on her window. The hard times have also hit the larger escort agencies and brothels. Hugo Snoep, the head of an escort agency for the past 16 years, notes, "Before I had twelve to fourteen girls working each day. Now it's sometimes only three." He has even resorted to offering specials and dropping some of his rates but to no avail. Hugo says he even offered a free around the world with each straight fuck, but had only one taker and then the guy didn't know what it was. According to Andre van Dorst, director of VEB, the Dutch sex industry association, revenue in the district has dropped by 30-40% over the past year. Hard times, indeed—and not the kind the sex workers are looking for.
It's been said, by a world famous philosopher: when sex dies, so go the nobler sentiments of civilization, so go the slow, satisfying build-ups to explosive orgasms, so go the tender caresses, the edible underwear, the poison ivy rash on the genitals from an overzealous romp in the field, and so go roses for Valentines and dried semen on the inner thighs. The homeless guy under the bridge down at the end of the street says: "When erybody quit fuckin' it gonna be lights out baby."
So to preserve mankind and all that goes with it: Go home and jump up and down in Virginia's vagina; have unprotected sex twice daily, preferably with different partners, and don't forget to talk to your children about the joys of early sexual experience. Host a sex party for your kids and their friends and keep a well-stocked cabinet filled with raunchy porn videos and sex toys for them to experiment on their friends.
Special Sex Editor: "Good Golly Miss Molly, Sure Like to Ball"
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